He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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