TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
