just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
