I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
