Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
As shirtless as possible
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
