I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He has the fingertips of a God
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