i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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