Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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