Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
