You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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