I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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