oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
