why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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