So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
