i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
