The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
