Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
