I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize