Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
