I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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