omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Dicks are not precious.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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