The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
