i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
