they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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