I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
