Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
