the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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