Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
