No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
