Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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