I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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