At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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