just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
