i need an iv and a liver transplant
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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