did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
ttyl tear gas
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
