I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dick very happy bro
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
