I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
