im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
