My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
