He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
But break dance skills will only take you so far
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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