I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
