I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
