Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My dick has a subreddit
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
