Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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