you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Randomize
