And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize
