chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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