in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
