Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
