I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
How does one acquire holy water?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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