Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize