So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
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There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
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Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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