he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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