Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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