Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
