dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
