Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
