I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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