My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
