i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
