But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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