it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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