Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
