He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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