it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
